All girls have an on-off switch, it's just that mine isn't on my body!

This is the page for all the blokes out there who are apparently interested in me. Ha ha ha!!!!!

You'll never realise what you're getting yourself in for!

But anyway, here's the truth about me - I hope you're paying attention! I WILL be asking questions at the end of the lesson!

Well, the following would be the top ten turn-ons for me. I would like to add, however, that what you see here isn't necessarily in this order, and so, hey, if you don't like it, bugger off!!!

1) Prawn Crackers:
Such a fantastic invention, I'm soooo glad that Chinese people exist, as well as propaganda. There is nothing sexier than the taste of egg and prawn together, and OH MY GODDDDDD, it's SO the god of all food! Preferably NOT eaten off the body, so sorry, guys.


2) Clotted Cream Fudge:
Come on, do I even need to explain this? If I do, okay - I am obsessed by the taste of the West Country, and there is nothing more western than clotted cream. Although I really hate the cream par seul. It so NEEDS to be in fudge.


3) Felix:
DAMN, his voice could send me into a frenzy if I let it. And there have been many times when I have almost let it... I will have to give in to it one day. I know I will, and it's just a matter of time before I choke on my thoughts. If I could have sex with your voice, honey, I would. Frequently. ;-)


4) Dr Pepper:
It's fizzy, fruity and orgasmic. I'm just wondering what alcohol to put in it to enhance its taste, and I'm thinking Tia Maria, but who knows?


5) Tia Maria:
It's sweet, and an immense chill-out. I have been known to down a bottle of it before - I never became so drunk so instantly - but DAMN it's nice! With the addition of either Red Square vodka or coke, it can't be beaten in the alcohol zone.


6) Lime-scented candles:
Only one person (before I decided to broadcast it to the world) knew about this fetish, and I hope it's put to good use! That lime could so easily clear the mind and enter the system as multitude of feelings. It's needs a bit of a catalyst to actually be a turn-on, though...


7) I Want You:
The catalyst for the lime candles! DAMN, it's a great song! Marvin really went out of his way with that. It's almost as erotic as Let's Get It On, but Let's Get It On wouldn't have the same effect with the lime candles...


8) Paul
Well, I had to do it! I thought 'cornish/devon pasties, or Paul?' And the answer was just so immediate, it virtually hurts! Things he says are just so not serious, and in that, you can occassionally see the serious side of things... If you can understand that! He's not very sexual, but there's an innocence that you feel this NEED to rip away! DAMN, Paul!


9) Backs:
I know it's crazy, but some people are drawn by the face, others by legs and arses, but I am a BACK PERSON!!! I find nothing on a man sexier than a strong back. And he's also slightly enhanced by the addition of triceps. Biceps do absolutely nothing for me. Triceps doooooo! One man who has a back to die for would be Michael Johnson. His triceps are quite nice, too, but he's have to have a head replacement to continue being gorgeous. Sorry, Mike!


10) Rain:
The feel of it (it has to be warm rain, not BLOODY HELL IT'S BLOODY FREEZING rain) on the skin is amazing. It's so sensual, and, to be completely honest, if I'm caught in the rain with a guy I have a thing for, it'd probably be my only reason for looking deep into his eyes and seeing the sexual side of things. Otherwise, I probably wouldn't be thinking anything remotely related to sex. Again, sorry, guys!